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Ouch, That Hurts!

Featured special by NFL Gridiron Gab contributor Michael Natelli

Last week, the NFL announced that it will be moving the originally highly-anticipated Week 13 Colts – Patriots matchup to a new time slot. The game was originally set to be aired on NBC’s “Sunday Night Football,” but the 0-9 start by an injury-plagued Colts team led to the decision that there were more meaningful games that could be played during that time slot. So in plain English, what exactly is the NFL saying? Well, let me take a shot at guessing what Roger Goodell said in his board meeting today:

Roger Goodell: Hello everyone. I’ve already handed out all my unnecessary fines for the day, so we can just talk about meaningless issues for the rest of the day.

Lesser Member in the Board Room: Sir, there is just one thing we needed to discuss…

Goodell: Oh, and what is that?

Lesser Member: Well you see… the Indianapolis Colts have been playing like they play in the same league as the Olney Bears. They currently sit at 0-9, and are playing the New England Patriots next week during a primetime TV slot. The Colts already play poorly enough sir, and now Tom Brady’s smokin’ hot wife will be in the stands distracting them. Can we really afford to represent our league putting such a bad game on primetime like that?

Goodell: Oh, of course not! Well, we are removing that, and putting a game worth watching on. This way Tom Brady will have other games to watch while he’s on the sidelines watching Ryan Mallet get reps starting in the second quarter. Day over. Good session guys.

Ok, so maybe not quite like that. But hey, I’m pretty sure that’s how just about everyone feels about this game.

Point being,

Dearest Indianapolis,

You just got kicked off Sunday Night Football. That’s a real kick in the cahones, eh? Draft Andrew Luck next year, and maybe we’ll reconsider wanting to put you in the United Football League.

Sincerely,

Michael Natelli – Columnist


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